In Which I Had a Momentary Lapse in Sanity

It’s 11 in the morning on a Wednesday. I’m sick and I’ve been told by my boss to work at home. On my schedule today include: e-mails, blogger outreach, a blog entry for the company (check), grocery shopping (check – did it at 7:45am), and laundry (will do that now). Working at home enables me to multitask much more effectively in that, evidently, I can get personal things done as well.

Including this very, very late blog entry.

If you haven’t noticed by now, nearly a month ago, I deleted, rewrote, updated, deleted, rewrote and updated again the latest chapters in Nocte Yin: Anti-Villain, Anti-Hero and Anti-Everything-Else. I know that it was confusing for a lot of people, and I wrote messages and comments in answer to these questions. Of course, not everyone knew about the rewrites or had their questions answered, so I decided to write this blog entry to detail my momentary lapse in sanity.

As I was writing the next chapter (Chapter 34), I suddenly realized that I didn’t like how things ended with Earth. I wanted Nocte to say goodbye because, frankly, I couldn’t handle the angst. (This is surprising what with how many unfortunate events I’ve flung at Nocte over the years.) So, in a random and crazy fashion, I rewrote Chapter 33 and then wrote a whole new Chapter 34 whereby Nocte says goodbye to Alex and Chantee.

You’d think it’d end there, wouldn’t you?

Well, unfortunately, it didn’t.

No sooner did I upload the new chapter, I decided that I liked the angst. I realized that I liked the abrupt ending in where Nocte just suddenly gets transported to Erisire – no goodbye. I liked that extra kick and punch! So… I deleted the “goodbye” chapter and uploaded the old chapters (with a slight edit).

I don’t regret the rewrite or the roundabout method in which I reassured myself that my first instincts were right. I do, however, regret that I’ve publicly humiliated myself by deleting, updating, deleting and updating again.  I apologize to all my readers for the confusion, but I’m not exactly the most secure author there is in the world. (I’m pretty sure all authors are insecure.)

I wish I had a Nocte update to make up for the confusion, but instead I have a 13|thirteen update.

甄雪清

Alyssum | Insanity

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